


a land-locked state

by wishingswell



Series: be the cowboy [1]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22651498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishingswell/pseuds/wishingswell
Summary: Jae’s already had his sexuality crisis (courtesy of Luke Skywalker), but just because he knows he’s bi doesn’t mean he’s prepared to hang around a cute boy twenty four hours a day for the rest of the summer.Or, the one where Jae's mom sends him off to help out the Kangs for a few months and he is royally fucked.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Series: be the cowboy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629421
Comments: 24
Kudos: 108





	1. come into the water

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is dedicated to mitski, specifically her album "be the cowboy" from which nearly all of these titles are coming from. it seemed fitting. 
> 
> thanks as always to my beta rosa, and to zoe for being an encouraging angel <3
> 
> this fic has a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2IHZlk7xnDAwCI4PwNt4eZ) and a [pinterest board](https://www.pinterest.com/rbeccaemily/farm-au/)

Jae’s first day in the middle of nowhere is hot, to say the least.

The June sun is beating down in the late afternoon, and the air is completely still as he steps out of his mother’s car, sweat already beginning to drip down his back.

“Mom,” he says, turning to her popping the trunk and looking at him expectantly. “Mom. You can’t leave me here.”

She clicks her tongue at him. “Don’t be so dramatic, Jae. It’s only for a few weeks and the Kangs could really use the help. It’ll do you some good to see some sun, you spend all that time shut up in your room with your boy games.”

“Gameboy, Mom,” he mutters. “Gameboy.”

“Get your bag out of the trunk, they’re waiting for you inside,” she says, ignoring him entirely.

“You’re not coming in?” he asks in disbelief, and she shakes her head.

“I’m meeting Mrs. Kang in town for lunch tomorrow, but right now I have to go.” Jae just stares at her, and her expression softens. Finally, she turns the car off and steps out.

“It won’t be so bad, you know,” she says, wrapping him up in a hug. These days he usually protests, but this time he lets it happen. “I think you’ll have fun, and I’ll be back to visit in a week or so, okay? The Kang’s son is a nice boy, you two used to play together all the time.”

“Yeah, when we were kids!”

“You’re still a kid,” she reminds him, and Jae groans.

“I’m eighteen, Mom.”

“I don’t care if you’re eighteen or eighty, you’ll always be my kid.”

“Gross, mom,” Jae groans, wriggling out of her grasp (but not before she plants a kiss on the top of his head).

“Get your bag and go inside, I’m sure Mrs. Kang is dying to see you.” Jae does as he’s told and his mom gets back in the car, waving as she puts it in reverse. “Be good!” she calls through the open window, and for once Jae doesn’t protest, just nods as he watches her back down the dirt road, sending plumes of dust in her wake.

When he can’t see her car anymore, he turns to the little white farmhouse that sits proudly at the end of the driveway and squares his shoulders. This is his life now. Better get used to it.

The sheepdog on the porch looks at him warily as Jae walks up the front steps, but he must be non threatening because the dog just huffs once before settling his head back on his paws. So much for a warm welcome.

Anyway, Jae guesses this is it. He knocks once, and through the door he can hear a chair scrape across the floor before the door opens, Mrs. Kang’s kind face haloed by her curly black hair.

“Jaehyung,” she says fondly, letting the door swing wide as she wraps him up in a hug. “I haven’t seen you in years! When did you get so tall?”

“Last summer,” Jae admits sheepishly—he’d shot up five inches in three months, and his mother had complained the whole year about how all his pants looked stupid because they’re now too short. 

Mrs. Kang coos at him, stepping aside so she can tug him through the doorway. “I’m sure you’re tired from the drive, I have some food inside.”

Jae, left with no other choice, follows.

+

Mrs. Kang explains over endless bowls of rice and curried chicken that Mr. Kang and their son, Brian, are in town for the night and won’t be getting back until morning.  
“Which means you get a room to yourself for the night!” she says cheerfully, and it takes Jae a moment to process that means he’ll be sharing a room with Brian for the _whole_ summer, something his mother probably knew and purposely neglected to mention. Still, he doesn’t say anything, just smiles and nods along.

After they eat, she shows him to the room in question, which consists of a twin bed pushed into the corner next to the door and a mattress shoved in between the foot of the bed frame and the window. Jae is happy to see a gameboy on top of the dresser, an old acoustic guitar half shoved into the closet, and a basketball peeking out from under the bed—maybe he and Brian will have some things in common after all. 

Mrs. Kang says he has the rest of the night to unpack and get settled, and that he can get oriented with the farm tomorrow when he’s had some rest. He thanks her and she leaves him to it, but in the end it only takes him about fifteen minutes because he didn’t bring all that much stuff anyway. His clothes stay in his bag, his toiletries get shoved into what small amount of space is still available in the bathroom cabinet, and the mystery novel he brought is dropped unceremoniously next to the air mattress. The rest of his evening he spends snooping as much as is socially acceptable, which includes going through all of Brian’s hair products in the bathroom. Seriously, this dude better have great hair when Jae meets him tomorrow or he’s going to be disappointed. 

After not finding much of interest, Jae is about to give up and sleep (at 9 p.m., jesus christ) when his eyes catch on a framed picture on Brian’s dresser. It’s familiar enough to pique his curiosity, and when he takes a closer look he realizes he knows it—his mom has a copy framed by her desk at home. He sees it every day, but never cared enough to really _look_.

One of the people in the photo is clearly his mom, short black hair curled to perfection as she gives the camera a chic smile despite the drooling, fat cheeked toddler in her arms, which Jae can only assume to be himself. Next to her is a younger Mrs. Kang, bangs neatly framing her face as she smiles. She’s also holding a kid, but he looks younger than Jae, hasn’t yet lost some of the extra baby fat around his limbs. It must be Brian—Jae doesn’t know much, but he knows the Kangs only have one child. It’s one of the reasons why his mother sent him out here in the first place. 

It’s then he realizes that their mothers had dressed them in matching Winnie the Pooh tee shirts, and he can’t help but wrinkle his nose. 

Tired of snooping for the evening, Jae settles into the lone mattress, trying not to think about how there is a perfectly good and unoccupied bed right next to him, and eventually succumbs to sleep. 

+

When he wakes, it’s to the sound of pots clanging in the kitchen below and sharp white sunlight streaming in through the window. Jae checks his phone, his focus sharpening when he realizes it’s already past 9 a.m.—he was hoping to get up a bit earlier to make a good impression, but clearly that’s no longer happening. 

As he rushes to get ready, he can hear distinctly male voices coming from below, meaning that Brian and Mr. Kang must be home. The thought makes him weirdly nervous, but he just swallows down the sour feeling in his throat as he rushes to get ready. At home he wouldn’t make any sort of effort, but it is his first real day here so Jae figures it’s worth it. He may be setting an unrealistic standard for himself, but that’s a different problem.

When he makes it to the bathroom, there are small signs of Brian being there since the night prior—toothpaste moved from next to Jae’s toothbrush to the other side of the sink where Brian’s rests, a pile of clothes on the floor next to the toilet—and Jae briefly considers the possibility that Brian had come into the room while Jae was sleeping. For Brian’s sake, he hopes not; Jae is known to be a terrible sleeper. 

He can still hear the Kangs buzzing around downstairs when he’s ready, but Jae pauses on the top stair, trying to get his hand to stop shaking. It’s not a big deal, he tries to convince himself. Not like you’re spending the rest of your whole summer here. 

His internal monologue is interrupted by the sound of someone coming up the stairs, and Jae is frozen in place when a boy his age—Brian, it must be—makes it to the top.

“Hey,” he says, face cracking into a smile as he rakes his soft-looking black hair out of his face (Jae is not disappointed). “You must be Jae. I’m Brian.” He extends a hand, and Jae takes it before he remembers to say anything.

“That’s me,” he responds lamely. “I was just…” he trails off, gesturing vaguely down the stairs, and Brian gives him an encouraging smile. 

“My mom made breakfast, you should go eat,” he says. “I’m just going up to get something for my dad, but I’ll be down in a second to join you.”

“I’ll wait,” Jae blurts. “We can just. Go down together.”

“Okay.” Brian’s smile softens. “Wait here then, I’ll be right back.”

As soon as Brian disappears down the hall and into his parent’s room, Jae has to resist the urge to put his head through the wall. ‘I’ll wait’? To go downstairs? Brian probably thinks Jae has issues. Which he does, but that’s not the point. Not to mention Brian is cute as hell, which Jae was _not_ expecting. He’s already had his sexuality crisis (courtesy of Luke Skywalker), but just because he knows he’s bi doesn’t mean he’s prepared to hang around a cute boy twenty four hours a day for the rest of the summer. 

Jae’s crisis is interrupted by the sound of footsteps—damn, Brian really wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be quick.

“Ready?” he chirps, giving Jae a close mouthed smile that shows off one adorable dimple. Jae is so fucked. 

“Yup,” Jae answers, and then he’s following Brian down the creaking staircase and into the kitchen.

“Good morning, Jaehyung,” Mrs. Kang says sweetly, looking up from her breakfast. Brian drops a pill box on the table in front of his dad, the rattle startling Mr. Kang out of his fixation on the newspaper in his hands.

“Thank you,” he says quickly, giving his son a pat on the back as Brian moves around to the other side of the table. “Good morning, Jaehyung. Sleep well?”

“Morning,” Jae answers, already beginning to feel slightly overwhelmed. “I did, thank you.”

“Do you prefer Jae or Jaehyung?” Mrs. Kang asks, catching Jae a little off guard.

“Jae, actually,” he admits sheepishly, and she hums.

“Jae it is then. Feel free to help yourself honey, there’s more food on the counter and in the fridge. Brian can help you find everything.”

Jae moves to the kitchen and he’s quickly overwhelmed. Brian points out that they have fresh chicken and duck eggs, as well as a little soup being kept warm on the stove and rice in the cooker. Jae ends up just opting for rice and soup, because cooking an egg feels like too much work and too much intrusion into the Kangs’ usual morning routine (though he supposes everyone will just have to get used to things). He goes to sit, but ends up pausing and watches in disbelief as Brian cracks four eggs into the pan, scrambling them lazily while simultaneously pulling orange juice out of the fridge. 

“You can eat all those?” Jae blurts, and Brian looks over at him, eyes widening before he cracks into a smile. 

“Yeah,” he answers simply. “I eat a lot. Want any juice?”

+

It’s agreed that after breakfast Brian will show Jae around the property and run through what he’ll have to help with, and by agreed Jae means that Mrs. Kang makes a strong suggestion and the rest of them are too afraid to say no. 

The dog from the night before is sunning itself by the door, and thumps its tail when Brian approaches, Jae a few steps behind him. Brian kneels down, scratching the dog behind one ear, and it responds by yawning in his face before stretching and standing.

“Gross,” Brian laughs, but he ruffles the dog’s fur happily. “Come on, Anderson,” he calls as he stands, and the dog—Anderson, Jae supposes—trots along after Brian out the front door. He quickly meanders off to the side of the house as Brian and Jae start off down the driveway, but Brian doesn’t seem too concerned about it. 

“So,” Brian starts, gesturing widely to the property around the small farmhouse. “This is it.” 

Jae has to squint to block some of the midmorning sun, but when he does he can see that the land seems to stretch on for miles, with just a small scattering of buildings in sight.

“This might be a dumb question,” Jae starts, and he can see Brian bite his lip to stop from laughing already. (It’s adorable.) “But where are all the animals?”

Brian grins. “I’ll show you.”

A short walk down the hill from the house leaves them standing in front of a barn, painted a very pretty lilac purple. A few horses mill around behind white fences, and one plods over to greet them when Brian clicks his tongue at it.

“This is Ranger,” he says, extending his hand for the horse to sniff at. “He’s the friendliest.”

Ranger seems to eye Jae, and then snorts loudly before walking back to the pile of hay he’d been picking at before they arrived. “Seems like it,” Jae mutters.

There’s chickens, ducks, goats, and pigs all on the back side of the barn, and Brian quickly shows Jae how to feed all of them while Jae stands outside the fence doing absolutely nothing and probably looking terrified. When he does get braze and sticks a finger through the fence of the goat pen, one of the goats comes up and tries to nibble on him. (Jae nearly falls from how fast he yanks his hand back.)

Brian must take pity on him, because when he’s done with the pigs he hops back over the fence and gives Jae a gentle pat on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry.” He grins. “You’ll get the hang of it.”

“Will I though?” Jae asks, mostly serious, but it makes Brian laugh anyway.

“It’s not that hard, I promise,” he says, and somehow his voice alone feels comforting. “Once you get used to the routine you’ll be fine.”

Jae doubts it, but he doesn’t want to crush Brian’s hopes for him just yet. 

The Kangs have a lot of land, and Brian gives Jae a quick walking tour of the rest of it. Most of the buildings and animals are close to the house, leaving undeveloped fields of tall green grasses that stretch into distant rolling hills. 

“There’s a lake out there too,” Brian says, pointing off in a vague direction. “We can go sometime, it’s nice for swimming.”

Jae squints but nothing is visible beyond the weeds, so he takes Brian’s word for it. “Sounds nice,” he says, wanting to wince at the awkward silence that follows. “So what do you guys need my help with, anyway?” he asks, hoping that Brian will be able to answer. His mom has been nothing but vague, and Jae’s far too shy to ask Brian’s parents.

“Probably the stuff they have me do.” Brian shrugs. “Taking care of the animals, keeping everything clean-ish, that kind of thing. It’s strawberry season so it’ll be nice to have more hands to pick them this year. You’ll have to try them soon, they’re really good.”

“I’m allergic,” Jae answers without thinking, and Brian immediately gives him this wide eyed look that would be more fitting if Jae told him that his whole family was dead. “It’s fine! I can touch them and everything, I just can’t eat them. But it’s fine. I’m here to help, not eat all your produce.”

“Sorry,” Brian still apologizes. “Anything else I should know about you? Any life threatening conditions?”

“Nope.” Jae shakes his head. “Well. I’m lactose intolerant. And I have a couple more food allergies. But really, nothing that bad. I don’t miss out on much.” It’s sort of a lie but it makes Brian smile again, so Jae reasons that it’s excusable. 

+

The rest of the day passes uneventfully, but getting ready for bed side by side that night has Jae tense and anxious, overly conscious of the space he’s taking up in the bathroom. Brian doesn’t seem to mind bumping elbows, but Jae can’t help but feel like an intruder in Brian’s space. Brian's pajamas are flannel pants and a comically large Star Wars tee shirt that leaves just his forearms exposed, but Jae can still feel the warmth coming off him when their arms brush, Brian reaching for the toothpaste across the sink while Jae goes for the mouthwash in the cabinet. 

He finishes before Brian does, bolting for the bedroom so he’s already on his mattress, blanket pulled up to his ears and scrolling on his phone when Brian comes in.

“Can I turn the light off?” Brian asks, and Jae nearly forgets to respond because he’s surprised that Brian would ask if he could turn the light off in his own room.

“Yeah,” he answers as soon as his brain starts working again, and then the room clicks into darkness. 

"Goodnight Jae," Brian chirps as he climbs into bed, and Jae finds himself biting his lip before he responds with a quiet "night."

He listens as Brian’s sheets rustle, waits until the room has gone quiet before he closes his eyes and wills away the nervous tightness in his chest that he knows won’t let him sleep.

When he finally relaxes, he has to pretend that it’s not from listening to Brian’s rhythmic breathing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will probably be the shortest chapter in this fic, so pls bear with me if i take a bit to update,, i'll drop any/all update warnings over on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/bribeombot), so feel free to request a follow! my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/antijosh) is also always open for questions/comments/concerns so u can hit me up there as well~


	2. a geyser (feel it bubbling from below)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long! real life hit me HARD haha but i hope this chapter is a fun one for you~ credit to jae at the 191026 fansign for the last scene and s/o to yana/screenrant for teaching me abt pokemon drama

“I’m dying,” Jae declares dramatically, letting his upper body fall backwards until he’s laying in the dirt, squinting straight up into the bright blue sky. Somewhere above him, Brian laughs, nudging Jae’s side with the toe of his dirty sneakers.

“You’re not dying,” he says, and Jae groans.

“But I am though. Everything hurts, Brian,” he protests. Brian laughs again, and then his hand is in front of Jae’s face, moving to wrap around Jae’s wrist before pulling him up with what seems to be not very much effort at all. Jae folds his legs to steady himself, leaning back to brace his weight on his hands behind him as he squints up at Brian.   
“I think you’re fine,” Brian says, and Jae can’t help but smile. 

“I think you’re wrong,” he corrects. “I need to rest and recover. You go on ahead, I’ll catch up.”

Brian rolls his eyes but he moves on down the seemingly never-ending line of strawberry plants, reaching to tug the ripe fruit out from behind the leaves before snipping them off with his shears. 

Jae takes the opportunity to stretch his legs out in front of him again, his ankles settling into the cool, upturned earth. Brian starts to hum as he works, and Jae can't help but watch—it's because he's already watching that his eyes are drawn to where Brian's tee shirt rides up on his arms as he reaches out, showing off tan skin and the smooth jut of his hip bone. 

Jae’s accepted after even just a few short days that Brian is beautiful. It’s been largely obvious from the start, but Jae accidentally seeing his broad back while they changed into pajamas the night before really seems to have sealed the deal. He tries to pass it off as envy; if he looked like Brian, life would be easier. If he was easy going like Brian, he’d be happier. Still, Jae has to swallow a knot in his throat every time Brian looks at him with wide eyes and a smile, and he doesn’t want to think too much about what that means. 

Watching the ease with which Brian moves down the aisle of strawberry plants, Jae feels a stroke of irritation mixed with awe. It just isn’t fair. 

“Are you done resting yet?” Brian calls out from a ways down the aisle, and Jae groans as he pushes himself to his feet and stretches his legs to catch up to Brian without looking like he’s trying too hard.

“Glad to have you back,” Brian jokes when he gets there, immediately shoving the bucket of freshly-picked strawberries into Jae’s hands. Jae pretends to stagger under the weight to make Brian giggle, though he doesn’t have to try very hard—it’s gotten a lot heavier in a very short amount of time.

He tells Brian as much, who just shrugs. He does speak up though when Jae whines something like “see you’d be better off doing this without me.”

“Not true,” Brian declares, “I work much faster when I have someone to hold the bucket for me. You’re a valued part of this machine, Jae.”

It’s such a little thing, but it makes Jae glow all the same. 

Two more rows seem to go by faster than any of the previous ones did, and then they’re dropping full buckets of ripe strawberries on the farmhouse porch before dropping themselves to sit on the steps. Anderson appears from somewhere, sighing contentedly as he worms himself in between Jae and Brian before flopping down on his side to beg for belly rubs. Brian indulges without thinking, hand moving through Anderson’s fur methodically but eyes fixed on the blurred line of horizon out in the distance.

The silence isn't deafening, but it's a clear opening for Jae to ask a question that's been on his mind for the past few days. Since he arrived, it’s been impossible to not notice the  _ things _ all around the farmhouse; family pictures dating back to when Brian was a baby, dusty basketball trophies, a violin case in the corner of the living room. It’s a lived in house, a home that bears the imprint of its people. Jae, knowing nothing about such an experience, is curious. 

"What was it like growing up here?" Brian's head jerks at the sound of Jae's voice, but his surprise melts into consideration quickly. 

"It was good, I guess," he answers carefully. "I mean, I've never lived anywhere else, you know? Maybe it'd be different if I moved here, but this has always been it for me." He pauses, shrugging. "There's a lot of things I love and some that I don't, but it's still home."

"Yeah," Jae agrees. "I get that. I mean, I think I do."

"What about you?" Brian asks, lifting his eyebrows. "You, uh, you moved around a lot right?"

"Yeah," Jae answers. Then, he laughs. "Did your mom tell you that?"

Brian nods sheepishly. "Yeah," Jae continues, "we've moved all around the U.S. but we spent a few years here not too long after I was born. I think my mom wanted to come back to be closer to your parents, she always says your mom is her closest friend. Not that she has that many."

"How about you?" Brian asks, and when Jae looks confused he clarifies. "Do you have many friends?"

"Nope," Jae answers, surprising even himself with how good-natured he sounds. "It's hard enough when you don't stay in one place for long, and harder when you're the weird Korean kid allergic to everything."

Brian just hums in response, and somehow that spurs Jae to continue. "My mom always tells me it'll get better in college, but I don't know. I kinda doubt it, at this point."

"I don't know," Brian replies. "That would make sense, right? No one else really knows each other, you all know you're stuck there for at least four years, and everyone's just trying to make it work. Like you're all in the same boat."

“Yeah,” Jae nods. “I guess. I don’t know. I think I’m just prepared for it to be another wave of rejection.”

Brian nudges Jae’s shoulder with his own, giving him a sweet smile that shows off his dimples. Those fucking dimples. “C’mon, man, don’t be so negative. Things’ll be great once you get to college.”

“You’re sure of that, huh?” Jae asks, eyebrows raised, and Brian nods confidently. 

“And if I’m not, then I’m about to be a senior anyway. Just let me be idealistic until I join you in the horror of university.”

“Deal,” Jae laughs. 

“Thank you,” Brian says proudly before pushing himself to his feet. Anderson stands too, giving a dramatic shake that makes Jae sneeze. “We should probably go wash these now so we’re done before dinner.” He gestures to the buckets, and Jae stands too.

“Alright,” he sighs, “lead the way.”

+

It’s not that Jae isn’t a fan of the farm life. He likes the atmosphere, how calm and quiet the mornings are before they have to be up and out to feed the animals. Brian’s mom makes the best chicken stew Jae’s ever had, and it makes him a little proud to see her cook with vegetables and fruit that he and Brian picked themselves. Well, mostly Brian. 

The problem is that there’s just not all that much to  _ do _ . They don’t work all day every day; it’s mostly in short bursts to feed and take care of all the animals, and then they rotate around the different fields picking whatever’s ripe. If they stay on top of things, that usually doesn’t take more than a few hours at time. There’s longer projects, like cleaning the barn and repairing fences, but even those only take a few days at most. Sure, Jae’s tired when they’re done, but he just doesn’t see how Brian can spend several months here without anything to do but work, watch sitcom reruns, and read his surprisingly large book collection. 

It’s a Saturday, which means no fields today, just taking care of the animals. They went out early in the morning to feed everyone and let the horses out before it got too hot, picked a few ripe berries off of the bushes closest to the house, and made and ate lunch—Jae considers that a full day, and it’s only 1 p.m. Brian was the one who suggested reading to kill some time, and is now neatly propped up against the arm of the couch with a tattered copy of  _ The Lord of the Flies _ . Jae has taken a more unorthodox position, back on the seat and knees hooked over the back of the couch as his head hangs down low enough for his hair to brush the floor. Brian eyes him first, and then hums in approval.

“It’s a good idea to increase blood to your head if you’re trying to read,” he says, “I think your brain needs all the help it can get.”

Jae tries to kick him and nearly falls off the couch in the process, which only makes Brian more smug. Asshole. 

He’s stolen a book from Brian’s shelf that turns out to be  _ Treasure Island _ , which Jae doesn’t end up hating. Still, it’s not long before he props the book open across his chest, spine side up, and heaves a large enough sigh to get Brian’s attention. 

Brian looks up over the top of his book, eyebrows raised. “What’s wrong with you now?” he asks, and Jae screws up his face in defense.

“What do you mean,  _ now _ ?” 

Brian laughs. “Fine, what’s up?”

“I’m bored,” Jae sighs, already having moved past the insult. Brian rolls his eyes.

“Well what do you wanna do then?”

“I don’t knowww.” Jae stretches the sound as he stretches his arms, letting his knuckles brush the rug until they knock against the base of the coffee table. 

Brian hums, but he dog-ears the page of his book and sets it on the coffee table. “I know somewhere we could go.”

Jae struggles to sit up, going too fast and accidentally giving himself vertigo in the process. “It’s not gonna be anything weird, is it?” he asks suspiciously, and Brian gives him a wicked grin. 

“You’ll just have to see.”

Brian refuses to tell Jae where they’re going, even when they’re sitting in the cab of the truck as Brian whips down a country highway with absolutely no regard for the posted speed limit. Jae keeps his eyes on him as he pesters Brian for answers, hoping something in his expression will give their destination away. To his credit, Brian keeps a stone cold poker face until they drive past a sign signaling the exit for Lake Artemesia—then, his mouth twists up into something mischievous. Jae doesn’t like that at all.

“Brian,” he says, keeping his voice level. “Are we going to a lake?”

“Wellll,” Brian answers, drawing out the sound as he fails to keep a smile off his pretty face. “We weren’t  _ going  _ to, but I think it sounds even better than what I had in mind.”

Jae considers it for a moment. They’re in no way prepared (though they’re in no way prepared for  _ anything _ , not just going to a lake), but it’s hot as all hell in the truck cab and wading in some cool water sounds pretty appealing right now.

As it turns out, Lake Artemesia is not that kind of lake.

There’s no shore to speak of, at least as far as Jae can see. Somewhere along their drive, the flat fields and rolling green hills turned into a forest, tall oak trees providing reprieve from the afternoon sun. The tree line seems to drop off into the lake in steep banks, and it’s clear that most of the human access is through rickety old docks that stick out from the bank like matchsticks. 

Jae follows Brian down one of them, unsure as to what exactly Brian plans to do once he hits the end. That soon becomes clear when Brian starts pulling his shirt over his head and declares “I’m going swimming.”

“You’re insane,” Jae declares, wrapping his arms tightly around himself (like that’ll protect him from anything).

“You’re no fun,” Brian retorts, sticking his tongue out as his shirt hits the dock. (Jae has to avert his eyes for a moment.) “Are you coming in or not?”

“Not,” Jae answers quickly, and Brian rolls his eyes. 

“Fine, melt in the heat, old man. See if I care.” 

“Respect your—” Jae starts, but Brian’s back is turned and then he’s running, down to the edge of the dock before launching himself into the green-blue water. “Elders,” he finishes weakly, under the sound of the splash. 

Brian’s head pops up above the water and he’s grinning wildly, wet hair stuck to his forehead and nearly obscuring his eyes. He ducks back under to sweep it back, and when he reemerges he looks like something out of every teen romance movie. Jae is smitten.

Brian swims back to the end of the dock and Jae takes careful steps towards him, minding his bare feet on the old wood. Brian doesn’t seem to care as he grips the last plank with both hands till he’s boosted himself up enough to rest with both elbows out of the water.

“Change your mind yet?” he asks smugly, wrinkling his nose when Jae shakes his head in response. “At least sit down man, come on.”

“If I get a splinter in my ass I’m suing,” Jae threatens as he sits, hugging his knees to his chest so his feet don’t touch the water.

Brian snickers. “You’ll just have to find someone to kiss it better.”

Jae tries to kick Brian’s shoulder but Brian is faster, somehow dodging while snagging Jae’s ankle in his steadfast grip and tugging.

Jae shrieks pulling back as fast as he can but not before Brian manages to get the better part of his calf submerged. “You dick,” he complains, but if he’s being honest with himself it does feel kind of nice.

Brian laughs, pushing off the dock so he’s just treading water a few feet out. “Just trying to show you that you won’t die from a bit of lake water.”

Begrudgingly and without a word, Jae shifts so his knees are hooked over the edge of the dock and his feet are submerged. 

Brian grins. Apparently satisfied, he floats onto his back, eyes closing as the mid-afternoon sun hits his face. With his chest fully out of the water, it’s hard for Jae to not stare at how the water runs off Brian’s tan skin and soft belly. Even from the dock, Jae can see how Brian’s lashes are dark and beaded with water, and how his face seems to glow golden when the late afternoon sun hits his proud nose and high cheekbones. 

The water is cooler than Jae would have thought, just warm enough to be comfortable while still providing reprieve from the summer heat. He scoots closer to the edge, letting his legs submerge up to mid shin. Then, bracing himself on the piling, he reaches out to put his hand under. It’s clear enough to not distort his skin, just give it a light blue-green tint to his eyes, and Jae makes his decision. Grabbing the dock on either side of his waist, he tries to lower himself into the water as quietly as possible. By the time his hips are submerged, though, his arms give out and he drops the rest of the way with a rather conspicuous splash. 

His head doesn’t submerge, which means that Jae sees how Brian flounders at the sudden sound, quickly treading water and looking around for the source with wide eyes. When he fixes on Jae, his face breaks into a wide smile. 

“It’s nice, huh? You stubborn asshole,” he says, and Jae splashes some water in his direction although they’re still too far apart for the water to reach. Brian quickly fixes that, disappearing under the water and resurfacing only a few feet in front of Jae. He shakes his wet hair like a dog, still grinning like a maniac as he subjects Jae to a shower of water droplets hitting his face. Jae lunges for him, going for Brian’s shoulders to dunk him, but he falters and Brian slips out of his grasp as he ducks under the surface again. Jae goes under too after his hands fail to find purchase, and his open mouth and nose fill with water. 

He kicks out blindly, trying to push himself back to the surface, but then there's hands at his waist and his face breaks through the water again. Jae sputters, blinking as he tries to clear the water out of his eyes to see clearly again. Over his own gasping breath, he can hear Brian saying "I'm sorry" over and over. Eventually his vision clears, and he can see the concern on Brian's handsome face. Despite the fact that Jae is treading water on his own now, Brian's hands haven't left his waist, sharing some of the burden of keeping Jae's head above water.

"It's okay," Jae says once he has his breath back. "Sorry. I haven't been swimming in years. Sorry."

"It's okay," Brian echoes. "I shouldn't have pulled back like that, you weren't expecting to go under."

Jae just shakes his head, cautiously pulling back, away from Brian's steady hands. The pressure on his waist releases but Brian's face still looks grim. "I'm fine," Jae says, using his most convincing voice (which comes out just a bit too firm). "Really. I just wasn't expecting it, but I'm fine. Stop with that face, you look like your mom."

"I'm telling her you said that," Brian quips, but his face softens into a closed mouth smile, showing off his dimple. 

“And I’ll say it looks great on her.” Jae sticks his tongue out, and Brian splashes him in retaliation. 

Swimming is nice, but Jae soon grows tired of having to hold his head above water. He doesn’t know how Brian’s doing it, switching between swimming and just floating around seamlessly, like he was born to do it. That’s how he looks doing most things, Jae thinks. 

Brian doesn’t say anything when Jae hoists himself out of the water, dripping all over the dock as he settles back into a sitting position with his feet still submerged. He watches Brian swim lazy circles, arms arching high before they cut through the water again. The repetitive motion is near hypnotizing, and time spent watching Brian passes more quickly than Jae would have thought.

Soon enough, the sun starts to disappear behind the tree line, the air growing colder as Jae starts to shiver. His damp tee shirt is still sticking to his skin and goose bumps are growing on his exposed forearms as the night breeze picks up too. 

Brian finally seems to heed the growing darkness a few minutes later, making his way back to the dock and hoisting himself up with a loud grunt. He scrubs his hand over his face and through his hair, droplets flying in all directions. Some hit Jae, and he winces. That gets Brian’s attention. 

“You cold?”

“No,” Jae lies through the chatter of his teeth, those traitorous bastards.

“You can have my shirt to wear on the way home. We should get going,” Brian says, but Jae shakes his head.

“I’ll be fine,” he lies again. “We’re not that far from the house.

"Just wear my shirt, you stubborn asshole." Brian rolls his eyes, bending to pick his discarded shirt up off of the dock. 

"I'm—" Jae starts, but Brian whips his head around and holds out a single finger.

"If you say you're fine one more time, you're walking home," he says, and Jae's mouth snaps shut. "Here," he continues, walking over and thrusting his shirt at Jae. 

"Won't you just be cold then?" Jae protests, and Brian shakes his head.

"I run hot," he says with a smile. 

Jae tilts his head, nodding. "Explains why you get so fucking sweaty."

Brian laughs, aiming a kick at Jae's ribs that Jae somehow manages to dodge. "You dick. Do you want to be cold or not?"

Jae huffs, refusing to look Brian in the eye. “Fine, you win.” He extends a hand, and Brian drops the pile of soft, sun warmed cotton into it. Brian’s shadow above him doesn’t move, so Jae looks up at him with narrowed eyes.

“You gonna watch me strip or something?”

Brian snorts, but his cheeks seem to darken even in the low light. "My bad, of course I'll respect your virtue." Jae thinks it's meant to be sarcastic, but it sounds too soft to his ears. Regardless, Brian turns his bare back to Jae, who quickly strips off his damp shirt and pull's Brian's over his head. It's baggy in the shoulders where Brian is broader than Jae, but shorter than Jae prefers, the hem just barely brushing the top of Jae's shorts. If he reaches his arms up, he knows it'll expose his pale stomach. Jae decides then to cross his arms over his chest as soon as he pushes himself to standing. 

"Let's go," he says, sounding a bit sheepish, and Brian spares a glance over his shoulder, eyes following Jae as the older moves to stand next to him. 

"That's better, isn't it?" he asks, and Jae bumps Brian's shoulder with his own.

"Don't sound so satisfied," he grumbles, and Brian laughs as he starts towards the car.

"It's hard not to when I end up being right yet again."

"What do you mean 'yet again'?"

They bicker most of the way home, Jae making fun of how country Brian looks for driving home without a shirt on and then arguing over whose fault that is. Brian’s mom eyes them when they come in but doesn’t say anything about it; just tuts at them and tells them to clean up while she rewarms dinner. 

+

Brian’s mom doesn’t get mad at them for much. She doesn’t say anything when they roughhouse outside when they should be picking strawberries, or when carrots disappear from her kitchen and end up in remnants beneath Ranger’s stall. It tells Jae that Brian has always been like this, which is good—his own mom had worried about Jae being a bad influence. There are very few things Jae thinks will draw Mrs. Kang’s ire, but this? This is definitely one of them.

“We’re screwed.” Brian’s voice is matter of fact, leaving nothing up for debate.

“Yeah,” Jae sighs.

Before them, Brian’s bed sits lopsided, part of the frame cracked and causing a leg to fold under itself. 

Really, if anyone’s at fault, Jae would argue that it’s Brian. 

Jae had been trying to sleep, because the one thing he’s learned over the past few weeks is that everything starts earlier here, which means he needs to sleep earlier if he wants to be anything other than a complete zombie when he goes out to feed the animals with Brian. It was Brian who had hissed at him from his bed, begged Jae to come up and sit so they could play pokemon on Brian’s DS. Jae obliged because, well, Brian and pokemon. 

The problem arose when it came to picking a starter. Jae argued for a fire type, because duh. Brian didn’t buy it.

“Grass types have the best defense,” Brian pointed out, and Jae just laughed. 

“They’re useless against fire types though!”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Fire types are rare anyways. Grass types have advantages over water, rock, and electric. Clearly the better choice.”

Jae scoffed. “Of course the farm boy likes grass pokemon.”

Brian’s eyes narrowed. “You think you’re better cause you like fire types? Prove it.”

Against his own better judgement, and perhaps his higher reasoning, Jae had launched himself at Brian with a wicked grin on his face. A brief bout of wrestling and muffled curses ensued, Brian’s DS lost under the covers while they both tried and failed to pin each other because really, a mattress is no substitute for a wrestling mat. 

At one point, Brian had Jae’s tee shirt in his hands and was straddling Jae’s chest, knee nearly slipping off the edge of the bed as he stuck his tongue out, just to be an asshole. Jae managed to get an arm under Brian’s thigh to flip him; Brian, not expecting Jae to gain an advantage, went down with wide eyes as Jae scrambled to keep it. It was then that they both heard the loud crack, and quickly realized they were slipping off a lopsided mattress.

Which led them to now.

“We can’t tell her now,” Brian says, crouching down to poke at the broken leg, like it’ll give him a magic answer on how to fix it.

“Yeah,” Jae agrees. “We’ll just say something tomorrow. It’ll be fine.”

Brian stands again, yawning. Clearly the wrestling match had tired him out. Snagging his pillow, he says, “I’m gonna go to the couch. Night, Jae.”

A thought occurs to Jae (shocking, he knows). “What if your mom finds you down there? Won’t she wanna know why?”

Brian cocks his head, considering it. “I mean, I guess. But there’s not really anywhere else to go.”

Jae looks at Brian, and then at his air mattress. “It’s a full,” he offers. “But you know. Only if you want.”

Brian shrugs, lip corners turning up in a closed mouth smile. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”

They settle in for the night like that, back to back and careful to not move too much. Still, Jae can’t help but be conscious of Brian’s breathing, the steady sound of it echoing in the quiet room as Brian falls asleep. It’s only when he’s sure Brian is out that Jae lets himself drift off too.


	3. like a summer shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry i took so long with this update,, i've split it into two chapters because i didn't feel good about throwing an 8k chapter in the middle of this fic, but they're both being uploaded at the same time! i'll definitely be quicker with chapter 5, thank you to everyone who has followed this despite my slow updates <3
> 
> ((quick cw for this chapter, we have some underage drinking and some typical ~teenager activities~ while under the influence, but nothing above the t rating))

For the first few weeks of Jae’s stay with the Kangs, their trips into the town proper required the supervision of Brian’s dad, who drove the same beat up truck that had taken them to the lake and talked in short, but kind sentences. This morning, though, the keys and a shopping list are dropped into Brian’s hand after they come in from their morning chores.

“We need some things for fence repairs,” his dad says, in lieu of explanation for their newfound responsibility. “You and Jae can go. Stop by the market on your way home to check on your mom.” 

Mrs. Kang had gone to the farmer’s market early that morning to both shop for groceries and sell some of their extra produce; she usually spends all day there, and they’ve stopped in before with Brian’s dad to hang out at their stand while Mrs. Kang browses. If they’re going alone, it’s a free pass for the two of them to run the stand on their own for at least a little while, which Jae is embarrassingly excited for. Usually, he and Brian goof off for a bit and then Jae gets to step back and watch Brian charm old ladies into buying more strawberry jam than they know what to do with. It’s a good time all around. 

The prospect of going out on their own shouldn’t feel as exciting as it does, but there’s something about the weight of trust and responsibility that Jae can appreciate, fingers drumming on his thighs as Brian drives them into the town center. The truck radio plays 80s hits and the windows are both rolled down to bring some fresh air into the normally stuffy cab, and somehow it’s the best Jae’s felt all week. 

The hardware store is simple enough—Jae gets distracted by all the pretty paint samples by the door, but Brian smoothly wraps his fingers around Jae’s wrist and tugs him towards the direction of the lumber. Brian does most of the work loading their purchases in the truck bed too, while Jae watches sheepishly from the side and tries to not stare too hard at how Brian’s arms stretch the sleeves of his Guardians of the Galaxy tee shirt.

The market is only a short drive away, as most things are—a midwestern town can only be so big. It’s held in the parking lot of a church, so Brian parks across the street and they walk over. Even from the opposite curb, Jae can smell the fresh pastries and artisan soaps that people are selling, and he pats his pocket to make sure he brought his wallet with him. It’d be a shame to go home empty handed, after all. 

They only wander a little before finding Mrs. Kang; this time, it’s Jae tugging Brian away from someone who had brought along their bunnies for kids to play with. Brian’s mom is wearing her usual sunhat, perfectly manicured fingers scribbling out a receipt for a customer because she likes to keep things old school. Jae and Brian step up as the customer leaves, and Mrs. Kang turns her attention to them with a smile. (Jae can’t help but notice how much it looks like Brian’s.)

“I was just about to close down so I could shop, but now that you two are here you can just go instead,” she says, and Jae sees something conspiratorial in her expression (not unlike Mr. Kang’s that morning, now that he thinks of it). Brian raises his eyebrows like he’s about to ask why they aren’t watching the stall like usual, but then his mom launches into specific instructions as to what they need to get, and any question dies before it can leave his mouth. Jae listens only passively—Brian has a much better memory than he does anyway, so there’s not much of a point in trying.

Mrs. Kang pushes a wad of cash into Brian’s hand when she’s done, and then she’s shooing them away so she can greet her next customer.

“What are we getting?” Jae asks as they start down the aisle of stalls, and Brian rolls his eyes. He has a vague idea—fruits they don’t grow themselves, some of the nice herb focaccia Mrs. Cho makes, maybe some soap—but it’s better if he makes Brian repeat it anyway.

“She wants peaches, bread from Mrs. Cho—” Jae knew it “—and that homemade laundry detergent she likes now.”

“So what I’m hearing is,” Jae starts, and Brian groans as if he can guess where this is going. (He probably can, but Jae doesn’t like to think too hard about his own transparency.) “So what I’m hearing is,” Jae repeats, louder and through a wide smile. “We get the fruit first, then a little side trip for flavored honey sticks, then to Mrs. Cho for bread and pastries and then double back for the soap.”

“How is it that you get more fixated on food here than I do?” Brian wonders aloud, and Jae gestures broadly to the stalls around them.

“The novelty, Brian! You’ve come here your whole life, but I grew up on Doritos and gummy bears,” Jae defends.

Brian rolls his eyes but he’s smiling, and then he’s pinching the loose fabric of Jae’s tee shirt between his fingers and tugging him along. “You poor city boy, my heart breaks for you. C’mon we have shit to do.”

The summer heat is already making him sweat, but Jae finds himself feeling a little empty at the loss of Brian’s warmth when his hand drops from Jae’s side. He trails just slightly behind Brian—though he knows mostly where he’s going by now, it’s better to let Brian lead so Jae can get distracted by things he sees in passing and Brian can’t say anything about it. Anyway, Brian should know to expect this by now. If it hasn’t already become clear to him that Jae has the memory of a goldfish and a worse attention span, then it probably never will. 

They pass the person who always brings rabbits for people to pet, and Jae insists on stopping even though he knows they’ll make him sneeze. Brian doesn’t protest; Jae knows he’s just as partial to little fluffy things as he is to Anderson, who’s just a big fluffy thing. 

Brian talks to the rabbits in a baby voice, hands wrapped around their bellies as he holds them up to his face. Jae’s not quite so bold—he prefers to just sit and let them hop around his legs, petting them as they pass. Most of them could fit in his palm if he were to pick them up, and the thought of holding something so small makes him nervous. 

Somehow, it’s still Brian who makes Jae leave the rabbits in favor of their shopping list, but he tugs Jae in the direction of the honey sticks first, so Jae knows Brian still likes him. Of course, Brian does buy five honey sticks just for himself, so his motivations could also be quite selfish in nature. Jae won’t question it. 

They have to backtrack because they forgot the peaches, and Jae makes sure to loudly blame Brian while the familiar faces behind the stalls give them bemused looks. Brian rolls his eyes but doesn’t protest, because he’s good like that. Eventually they make it to Mrs. Cho, who smiles sweetly and reaches across the table to pinch Brian’s cheek. Jae laughs, but then she does it to him too.

“Same as usual?” she asks, already moving to pack up a loaf of sourdough in the cloth bag Brian’s mom had sent with them, tying it off neatly with a red ribbon.

Brian nods. “And four kolaches, please. Two cherry and two poppy seed.” 

Jae wrinkles his nose at the mention of poppy seed filling, which he does every time. It’s the preferred choice of Brian and his mom, while Jae and Mr. Kang prefer the sweeter cherry. They’d had a heated debate about it the first time Mrs. Kang brought some home, and come to the agreement that this is one issue they will never see eye to eye on. Jae is alright with that—the show of gentle disgust is really on principle, at this point. 

Soap is the last stop; the old man who makes it has the nicest smile, and is eager to show off his new scent combinations. Brian’s mom wants the lavender and honey laundry detergent for herself, and Brian gets vanilla body soap because he’s boring. Jae picks out some for himself too, after remembering that he’s running low on the body wash he’d brought from home, and makes his decision after shoving no less than five different samples in Brian’s face to ask for his opinion. The winner is a translucent green bar of cucumber and aloe that has a clean, slightly sweet smell to it. Jae likes it, but he also really likes the face Brian makes when he smells it, dimples showing when he smiles. The dimples are the real decision maker—Jae has no delusions about that. 

Mrs. Kang inspects their purchases with hawk eyes after they eventually make their way back, but when she looks up again she’s smiling. “Good,” she chirps, “you got everything right.” With that tone and her smile, Jae is struck by how much Brian resembles her. “Okay, you boys stay here now and watch the stand, I’m gonna go talk to my friends.”

She pats Brian’s cheek as she leaves, his mouth open in disbelief as he watches her meander over to Mr. Ouyang and his racks and racks of fresh chicken eggs. 

"She can't be serious," Brian says, still staring after his mom. 

"We're free labor, Bri Bri," Jae sighs, taking the opportunity to claim the fabric camping chair behind the table. The afternoon sun is starting to creep in through the side of their overhead tent, and Jae scoots the chair further over to stay in the (just barely) cooler shade. "And," he adds, "she was here by herself all morning."

Brian shoots him a glare, an unspoken _why aren't you on my side_ , and Jae just grins back at him. 

"Are you shocked that I can make sense sometimes?" Jae teases, and Brian snorts.

"No," he answers easily. "You're not as dumb as you try to play yourself off as. Usually you back me up, though."

"Come sit," Jae replies, ignoring Brian's thinly veiled compliment. "We have strawberries to sell."

+

Mrs. Kang doesn't come back until it's time to pack up. In the past forty five minutes they’ve managed to sell four more cartons, which isn't bad considering things usually slow down as people start to head home. Mrs. Kang seems pleased anyway, smiling at Jae and running her hand through her son's sweaty hair as she instructs them on how to pack everything up so they can load it into the back of the truck instead of her car, therefore making sure that the unloading process is also entirely Jae and Brian's responsibility. (Not that they wouldn't have done it anyway, but it's the principle of the thing.)

Despite his complaints earlier, Brian’s in a good mood on the drive home. The radio’s playing soft pop loud enough to be heard over the rush of air through the rolled down windows, and he hums along with a smile on his face. Jae lets his arm dangle out the window, facing his palm outward just to feel the familiar numbing pressure. 

“That was fun,” he comments when the song transitions and he knows he can be heard over the sound of the wind.

“Fun?” Brian asks, and Jae turns to give him a questioning look.

“You didn’t think so?” he asks instead of answering, ignoring how his voice squeaks up at the end. 

Brian shrugs, not taking his eyes off the road. “I mean, we didn’t really do much. I didn’t think you’d have a good time.”

“C’mon, Bri,” Jae grins, though he knows Brian won’t look over to see it. “I always have a good time with you.”

Brian snorts, rolling his eyes to demonstrate his thoughts on Jae’s teasing, but he’s smiling too—Jae counts that as a success. 

+

Any confusion about Brian’s parents’ motivations is cleared up early on Sunday morning, when Jae stumbles downstairs for breakfast only to be ushered out the door with instructions to pack the truck with everything they’ll need for the farmer’s market. Brian is already out there, having made it out of the bathroom before Jae, and he gives Jae the most unimpressed look Jae thinks he’s ever seen, on Brian or anyone else. 

“We’ve been played,” Jae says as he takes the other side of the folding table from where it rests on the damp grass, helping Brian lift it into the truck bed.

Brian nods solemnly. “We were fools,” he agrees, and Jae can’t help the smile that crosses his face despite how tired he is. 

Mrs. Kang is extra pleased with herself when she calls them back inside for breakfast before they have to leave, but Jae can’t even bring himself to be disgruntled with her because one, she’s just too nice and two, she’s given him a whole day with Brian all to himself. Jae knows better than to complain about that. 

Brian doesn’t complain either, though probably for different reasons. He’s just a good person like that—he doesn’t need ulterior motives. Jae is only slightly bitter about it. 

Despite his somber tone earlier, Brian seems to be in a good mood when they drive into town. He sings along to the old Maroon 5 song on the radio, fingers drumming along on the steering wheel, and Jae props his chin on his knuckles to sit and soak it in. 

It’s a little cool in the truck cab with the windows cracked, the sun still making a valiant effort to cut through the early morning fog. The air puts goosebumps on Jae’s skin where it’s exposed by his tee shirt, and he runs his hands up and down his forearms absentmindedly. He sees Brian move out of the corner of his eye, but before he can turn to look there’s a pile of fabric landing in his lap. It’s a black and red flannel, worn soft from many washings, and Jae knows without even picking it up that it smells like Brian. 

“Borrow that till it gets warmer,” Brian says, eyes never leaving the road. Jae squints at him.

“How’d you know I was cold?” he asks, just to see what Brian will say.

Brian snorts. “You’re not subtle. Just wear it, Jae.”

“Fine,” Jae says, and then Brian sputters when he hears the click of Jae unbuckling his seatbelt. “What?” Jae teases. “You told me to put it on, and I can’t do that with a seatbelt on.”

“You’re obnoxious,” Brian responds. “And you’re not allowed to haunt me if we get in an accident and you die because you took your seatbelt off.”

Jae sighs, not wanting to push Brian further. He makes a show of swinging the flannel over his shoulders and slipping his arms into the sleeves before loudly re-buckling his seatbelt, and he doesn’t miss the way Brian’s spine relaxes at the sound.

“Thanks,” he says, quietly, like it’s painful. Brian sees through him, Jae has no delusions about that, but he’s nice enough to not call Jae out on it. 

Set up goes about as smoothly as Jae had expected, considering neither of them has ever actually done it on their own before. There’s a lot of awkward shuffling to get the table and chairs position correctly, and then they realize they definitely should have put the tent up first and that sets them back another ten minutes. They do get things settled eventually, and they’re early enough that they go around offering to help everyone still coming in. All the old people eat it up, cooing at them and telling them what strong, handsome young men they are. It makes Jae flush with embarrassment and laugh awkwardly, but Brian smiles through it like he was made to be praised. 

Eventually it becomes too busy to be away from their own table, and Jae follows Brian back with a smile on his face. Brian gives him an unimpressed look when Jae sighs dramatically, flopping into a folding chair with no mind for where his limbs are going. 

“Tired already?” he asks, and Jae jumps on the opportunity.

“I wasn’t made for attention like you are, Bri.” He sighs again, somehow deeper this time. “This celebrity life takes a toll on me, you know.” 

Brian reaches out to bat at Jae’s shoulder, but he doesn’t do it particularly hard. He’s still smiling, too, which was Jae’s real objective. “Shut up,” he says, and Jae mimes zipping his lips shut just to be annoying. 

Their bickering is interrupted by their first customer of the day, one of the women Mrs. Kang knows from church who seems disproportionately impressed that Jae and Brian are here by themselves today. Again, Jae watches Brian bloom under the praise, sees how he smiles shyly, nose wrinkling as he denies her compliments kindly. He doesn’t even have to say anything when she leaves and Brian sits again; Brian just looks at him and then he’s punching Jae in the arm.

“Asshole,” he hisses, despite the smile on his face. 

“I didn’t say anything!” Jae defends through his own laughter. “I said absolutely nothing!”

He’s not lucky enough to get interrupted by a customer again, so he’s subject to Brian’s annoyed glares and periodic laughter when he gets in a good hit for a few minutes longer. It’s warm enough now that he doesn’t need Brian’s flannel anymore, so he takes it off and throws it at Brian as a distraction. It works well enough, because when Brian’s face reappears from behind the fabric he’s grinning.

Reason says that Jae should get bored fairly quickly; Sundays are slower than Saturdays with the exception of the after-church rush, meaning that it’s a lot of just him and Brian sitting behind a table of strawberries and minding their own business. Still, he doesn’t feel the familiar itch, the need to occupy himself with something and get out of his own head. Brian’s entertaining enough, and keeps their bickering going whenever it’s been quiet for too long. He summarizes the plot of the book he’s been reading to Jae, and offers his commentary on the one Jae’s been on for a while now. It’s a pleasant stream of back and forth, just enough to keep them both awake and alert and happy,

By early afternoon, Jae can tell Brian’s tired of talking to customers, and when the next person comes he gently hip checks Brian out of the way so he can handle it. Brian makes a small noise in surprise, but settles back into his folding chair and doesn’t say anything until Jae is done.

“Thanks,” he sighs. “You’re good at that.”

“Must be a natural,” Jae quips back, nudging Brian’s shoulder lightly. 

Brian lets Jae handle the few customers that come by after that, and then it’s late afternoon and the stalls around them are starting to pack up. This part is more familiar than setting up, and goes much faster—they have to work together to get the table and tent back in the car, but the rest of the stuff they can load in just two trips each. 

Jae feels a little sad when the truck bed is loaded and they’re both in the cab, watching everyone else head home. Brian stalls, turning the engine on but staying in park while he pulls out his phone. 

“Texting your mom?” Jae asks, and Brian nods. 

“Telling her we won’t be home for dinner,” he says, not looking up from his phone.

“Oh?” Jae raises his eyebrows, and Brian finally looks up, a familiar smile on his face. 

“How do you feel about burgers?” he asks, free hand already on the gearshift. 

“I feel great about burgers.” 

Brian pulls into the Sonic parking lot with more speed than is strictly necessary, ignoring Jae’s laughter when he parks and goes up to the window to order instead of using the drive in spaces like a normal person. Jae goes easy on him though, because when he comes back it’s with four double cheeseburgers, tater tots, onion rings, and a cherry lime slushy that Jae knows is just for him. Jae’s never been more thankful that the truck cab has no center console because they spread out all the food between them, Jae tucking one foot up under the opposite thigh so he’s angled towards the center of the cab (and consequently Brian, though he tries to not focus on that). 

Brian powers through two cheeseburgers like they’re child’s play, leaving Jae in awe while he’s still only halfway through his first. 

“You’re a machine,” he says, and he’s rewarded with Brian’s bright grin after he tosses a tater tot in the air and manages to catch it in his mouth. 

“My one and only talent,” he says, and Jae snorts.

“Liar,” he replies, and Brian’s laughter rings loud in the small space. 

“My best talent, then,” he amends, and Jae nods in acknowledgement. Still debatable, but not as blatantly wrong as before. 

They make a game out of throwing the tater tots at each other, and Jae mourns every one that ends up on the floor. Plenty end up on the seat too, but he eats those without regret. He _tries_ to eat the ones off the floor, but Brian quickly puts a stop to that with an adorable wrinkle of his nose. 

When their food is polished off, the cab is filled with the sound of the radio and Jae sipping loudly at his slushy. He has both feet tucked up underneath him now, one knee pressing uncomfortably into the door. He has been staring aimlessly out the windshield, watching the sky change colors with the sunset, but Brian captures his attention by tapping his knee.

“Here,” he says, scooping all the cardboard boxes and wrappers back into the paper bags they came in. “Scoot over.” 

Jae gives him what he hopes is a grateful look, and his knee and hip relax immediately when he moves towards the center of the cab, giving his legs more space. He’s now taking up two thirds of the space which he does feel bad about, but Brian doesn’t seem to mind. Jae’s knee brushes Brian’s thigh when he moves, and Brian makes no effort to pull away. 

They sit in comfortable silence until Jae’s done with his drink, and then for a little while longer after that. Jae doesn’t have to say anything, just scoots back over into his seat and buckles his seatbelt—Brian gets the message, and then the engine thrums to life under Jae’s feet. 

The way back to the farm in lilac twilight and the orange glow of sporadic street lamps feels achingly familiar; Jae sort of wishes they wouldn’t go home, just to make it last that much longer. 

+

Jae expects to head upstairs and go straight to sleep when they get back, but Brian’s fingers wrap around his wrist and tug him across the cab of the truck until Jae practically falls out the driver’s side door. Brian’s other hand flies to his waist to steady him, and Jae gives him his best glare. Brian only grins back, and Jae can’t even bring himself to be annoyed anymore.

“What are you doing?” Jae asks, because it’s always obvious when Brian is up to something and this is no different.

“Come with me,” Brian says in explanation, which is to say he does not explain at all, just uses his hold on Jae’s wrist to tug him towards the barn. 

The light is on inside and the radio is playing faintly, because Tracer is “anxiety turned into a horse” and Ranger can sleep through anything. Brian lets go of Jae’s wrist once they’re inside, stopping at both stalls to give the horses nose rubs. Jae lets Tracer sniff his hand, and Tracer seems thoroughly unimpressed. Ranger is always nicer, pushing his nose into Jae’s palm until Jae rubs the itchy spot on his nose. Jae rests his shoulder against the wall, running his other hand up and down Ranger’s neck until he decides he’s had enough, turning away from Jae to go drink from his water bucket.

Jae looks over to Brian who’s still paying attention to Tracer, and when Brian looks back he’s got a dangerous look in his eye. 

“Hold on,” Brian says, and then he’s up and disappearing, leaving Jae to lean against the wall feeling incredibly lost. Jae watches Brian’s back as he goes, the flimsy tack room door swinging wide behind him, and then he’s coming out again with a brown bottle and a bundle of fabric in his hands. As Brian comes closer, it becomes clear from the label that the bottle is Jack Daniels, and the bundle of fabric is some blue plaid fleece that Jae can’t help but wonder about. 

Before he gets the chance to ask anything, Brian is in front of him and grinning. “Here,” he says, and then he’s thrusting the bottle of jack into Jae’s hands so he can spread the fleece blanket across a pile of loose hay at the back of the barn, turning it into a makeshift mattress. He wastes no time in flopping down, limbs relaxing as he pats the empty space next to him.

Jae settles down awkwardly, too aware of all his limbs and angles, but Brian scoots a little closer and then their shoulders are touching and Jae can’t complain anymore. 

“If you’re not gonna drink that then you should hand it back to me,” Brian remarks, and Jae rolls his eyes.

“As if,” he says, unscrewing the cap so he can take a sip. Brian laughs at the way Jae’s face screws up at the unpleasant burn, and the sound helps Jae relax once more. 

“Gimme,” Brian whines, making grabby hands for the bottle to make Jae laugh as he passes it over. 

For being a year younger than Jae, Brian takes a drink annoyingly well. Jae tells him as much, and Brian giggles. Honest to god _giggles_.

“I’ve had more practice than you, church boy,” he says, and Jae shoves at his shoulder in retribution. Brian just laughs again, and then scoots down enough that he can lean his head on Jae’s shoulder.

“Oh, so I’m your pillow now?” Jae asks, and Brian sighs.

“Yes,” he answers simply. “There was hay tickling my ear.”

Jae huffs, at least trying to fake annoyance. “Just don’t fall asleep on me. Then you’d be a really terrible drinking buddy.”

“I’ll do my best,” Brian answers, punctuating with a yawn. Jae doesn’t know if it’s fake or not, but he sighs anyway. 

“Do you really drink a lot?” Jae asks, thinking back to Brian’s earlier remark and trying to not let concern bleed into his voice too much.

“I don’t think it’s a lot,” Brian replies. “But you have to remember that I’m a seventeen year old kid who lives in the middle of nowhere, there’s not much else for me to do when I’m feeling rebellious.” 

“You could go cow tipping,” Jae suggests, and Brian snorts.

“You know no one actually does that, right?”

Jae gasps. “You mean TV lied to me?”

Brian snorts again, shifting to prop himself up on one elbow so he can take another sip. “What else is new?”

Jae just hums, reaching out a hand and smiling when he feels Brian wordlessly press the warm glass bottle into his palm. It may be a bit gross, but Jae thinks that the mouth of the bottle is still a bit warm from Brian’s lips. He doesn’t mind. He’d rather feel the warmth of Brian’s lips firsthand, but Jae will take what he can get. 

The alcohol burns less the more he drinks of it, which Jae supposes is the danger of it all. Brian snakes it from him but always passes it back without Jae having to ask, and the comfort of that is concerning. Jae’s the one who sets it aside, once they’ve both got a good buzz going. He’s pretty sure he’s more drunk than Brian is, but Jae’s trying to not be too sore over it. Brian’s got all that muscle to soak it up or whatever. It’s fine. Jae’s not thinking about Brian’s muscles now. Everything is fine.

“Hey Jae,” Brian asks, head lolling to the side as he looks up at Jae with wide eyes. “I have a question.”

“What’s up?” Jae answers, not overly concerned with whatever Brian’s about to ask. It can’t be _that_ bad. 

“Have you ever kissed someone?”

Jae flushes hard, the alcohol in his blood making everything seem to happen so much _faster_ than it should be. “Why do you care?” he blurts, biting his tongue when he realizes how rude it sounds.

Brian, to his credit, takes it in stride. “I guess I don’t.” He shrugs. “I was just curious. I haven’t, in case that makes you feel better about your answer.”

“You’ve never kissed anyone?” Jae is incredulous, and he feels rightfully so. Brian’s too cute to never have been kissed. Jae, on the other hand. He makes sense.

Brian shakes his head. “Nope. Not many options out here, so I never bothered.”

“I haven’t either,” Jae admits before he can stop himself. 

He waits, but Brian just hums in answer. His head drops a bit to rest on Jae’s shoulder so when he speaks, Jae can feel it. “That’s okay. You just haven’t found the right person to kiss you yet.”

“I still can’t believe I’m about to go to college and I’ve never kissed anyone,” Jae complains. He knows that Brian is right, but he also knows that the only person he’s wanted to kiss in a while is next to him and he’s going to go off to college without having taken that chance. 

“I mean,” Brian starts, and he flaps his hand around ambiguously. “We can fix that.”

Jae tenses. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Brian repeats, turning to actually face Jae instead of staring off into the quiet darkness of the barn. “I mean I could kiss you. If you want. Then you’d go to college having kissed someone.”

“Weren’t you just saying it should be the right person?” Jae asks, trying not to sound too frantic. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, because he does (oh god, how he does), but he wants to when Brian wants to. He doesn’t want a pity kiss.

“Who says that isn’t me? You could, but. Are you?” Brian’s so fucking earnest Jae thinks he’s going to explode. 

“No,” he answers.

“Okay then,” Brian says, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Okay,” is all that Jae can echo, and then Brian’s leaning in close and Jae shuts his eyes in anticipation. He doesn’t move, just waits till he feels the faint brush of Brian’s soft lips in his. It’s gentle, chaste, no teeth or tongue involved. Brian kisses earnestly, and Jae relaxes somehow, parting his lips slightly to let Brian capture them. Brian’s too good at this, he thinks. 

They started off lying next to each other, Jae having propped himself up on one arm to drink, but now Jae follows Brian’s lead as Brian pushes his shoulder down till he’s on his back, Brian throwing one leg over Jae’s hips till he’s sitting in Jae’s lap. He’s heavy but he’s warm, and the way he’s moving in Jae’s lap is making all sorts of issues arise. Still, Jae follows his lead, only stopping for breath when Brian pulls back. It feels like it’s been hours but somehow that’s still too short, and Jae wants to chase Brian’s mouth when it leaves his. 

Brian lets his head drop, breath coming in hot huffs against the skin of Jae’s neck. Jae can feel his eyelashes flutter, and it takes some self control to not wriggle away from the sensation. Not that that would be easy to do, considering that Brian’s made no move to take his hands off of Jae’s shoulders or move out of Jae’s lap. 

“I’m tired,” he says, and the feeling of his lips moving against Jae’s neck makes Jae shudder.

“Did I put you to sleep?” Jae asks, only half joking. Brian hums, the vibration traveling down Jae’s spine.

“No. Drinking makes me sleepy,” he answers. “Let’s sleep.”

“We have to get up to do that,” Jae points out, and somehow Brian shakes his head without lifting it from Jae’s shoulder.

“I sleep in here sometimes. ‘S nice. Peaceful.” 

“Brian,” Jae protests weakly. “Brian. We can’t sleep in the barn.”

“Who says?” he asks, and Jae sputters.

“Me?” he tries, but then Brian is rolling off of him and he’s too distracted by the loss of connection to say anything further. Thankfully, though, Brian doesn’t go far. His head resumes it’s rightful position on Jae’s shoulder, and he slings an arm over Jae’s stomach like he’s done it a thousand times.

“Shhh,” he commands, though Jae’s already silent. “Sleep.”

Somehow, Jae can’t bring himself to argue with that.


	4. don't want your pity, just want somebody near me

When Jae blinks himself awake, it takes him approximately five seconds to figure out where he is, ten seconds to remember how he got there, and twenty to fully remember the events of the night prior. Immediately he wants to close his eyes again, just go back to sleep and pretend it never happened, but then he realizes why he’s woken up in the first place—Anderson is sniffing around their heads in search of breakfast, and Brian is beginning to stir, making soft, quiet noises in his sleep. 

Brian hasn’t shifted much during the night, much to Jae’s surprise. He still has an arm across Jae’s torso, but his head has moved so it’s fully resting over Jae’s heart, which is adorable but also preventing Jae from moving very much at all. Grimacing, he shakes Brian’s shoulder as gently as he can. 

“Brian,” he says quietly. “Brian we gotta get up.”

Brian moves, though only to push his face further into Jae’s shirt. He mumbles something Jae can’t hear, so Jae pokes him in the back. He shifts again, turning his head so his ear is pressed to Jae’s chest instead. “Don’t wanna,” he says, though it’s more of a whine than anything else. 

Not more than seconds later, Brian’s stomach growls and Jae pokes him again, this time in the ribs. “We can’t eat if we don’t go inside,” he points out, to which Brian responds with a groan. Reluctantly, he rolls away from Jae and into a sitting position, and Jae has to look away to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest telling him to pull Brian back in, even closer than before. Brian yawns, scrubbing a hand over his face and through his messy hair before he pushes himself to his feet. 

“Alright, I’m going,” he says, voice still deep and rough with sleep. Looking down at Jae, he asks, “you coming?”

“Yeah,” Jae answers, brushing off his clothes as he stands and staunchly avoiding both eye contact and the sinking feeling of regret.

It’s still early, and Jae wants to hug Anderson for finding them before Brian’s parents have fully woken up. The front door squeaks when they enter, but they can still hear Brian’s parents up in their bedroom so the two of them immediately bolt for the stairs. Brian knows where to step so they don’t creak, and Jae follows him up till the door of Brian’s room is shut safely behind them.

Brian collapses back onto his bed almost immediately, though not before ridding himself of his jeans so he can crawl under his sheets in just a tee shirt and boxers. He’s not looking at Jae and doesn’t say anything either, and with each passing second of silence Jae can feel his pulse quicken. 

Grabbing his towel, Jae throws an obligatory “going to shower” over his shoulder before he bolts out of the room. It’s for the best, he thinks, though for some reason he really wants to be wrong.

+

It’s not long before they have to make their way back downstairs for breakfast before going to feed the animals, and Jae has to try his best to avoid looking as guilty as he feels. To his credit, Brian is a natural—he greets his parents in his usual chipper tone, saying he slept well and giving absolutely no indicated that they’d done anything untoward the night before. Jae mostly stays quiet out of fear that he’ll give them away with a single word, and Brian doesn’t attempt to get him to speak either. Jae tries to not read too much into that, and fails miserably. 

When they finally head out, Brian falls into an uncharacteristic quietness that mirrors Jae’s own. They have to go down to the barn first, and Jae feels an uncomfortable tightness in his throat as they approach. They hadn’t bothered to clean up before they slipped back into the house, so Brian does that while Jae runs through the motions of feeding the horses by himself. The still half-full bottle of whiskey disappears under the floorboard of the tack room, and Jae makes sure he’s very pointedly not looking while Brian does it. Despite how clingy he was this morning, Brian’s silence seems to mean that he’s ignoring the events of the night prior, and Jae doesn’t want to rock that boat. 

The rest of the day passes similarly, and Jae can’t bring himself to say anything about it. Everything else is normal; they feed the animals, clean out the fields, and then go check on the strawberries as well as the much smaller rows of tomatoes and radishes. There’s weeding to do both there and in Mrs. Kang’s garden, and then it’s back up to the house for lunch. Throughout the whole morning, Jae would guess that he and Brian exchanged no more than twenty words. It worries him. 

What’s worse, though, is that Mrs. Kang decides to give them the afternoon off. 

“You feel like doing anything?” It’s the first time Brian’s spoken a true sentence to Jae since they left the barn that morning, and Jae can’t help the look of surprise that he’s sure crosses his face before he makes the effort to appear more neutral.

“Uhm,” he answers very intelligently. “Not really. Whatever you wanna do is fine.”

Brian shrugs. “I don’t really care. Read, maybe.”

“Reading’s good,” Jae says helpfully, so that’s what they do. They make it out to the back porch, Jae lying flat on the sun-warmed wood and holding an Isaac Asimov novel above his face. Brian’s curled up like a cat in one of the chairs, legs tucked up under himself and chin resting on his knuckles as he turns pages one-handed. Jae tries to be discreet about sneaking glances at him around the cover of his book, but there’s one awkward instance when Brian’s looking back at him and they make eye contact and both of them have to look away immediately. They still don’t say anything, though. Jae really doesn’t know what to make of that. 

Eventually, Jae comes to terms with the fact that he’s not actually reading the words in front of his face, and places the book face down and open on his chest. Using his own forearm as a pillow, he closes his eyes so he can nap, but even that won’t come easily. There’s too much to think about—chiefly Brian’s silence. Ever since Jae first showed up, Brian has never been silent. He’s not always the most talkative, but he’s always present, ready to respond to Jae’s comments with an exasperated expression at least. 

This distance thing is really doing a number on Jae, and he really hates how much it’s affecting him. The tug deep in his gut when he looks at Brian now is just a reminder of his dependence, and the temporality of their situation. At the end of the summer Jae will go to college and Brian will go back to his small town high school and neither of them will know when they’ll see each other next. Before, that was easy enough to ignore, and Jae was even somewhat okay with it considering that distance would give his pathetic crush on Brian plenty of time to fade. That could still be the case, he thinks bitterly, if Brian never talks to him again. 

He tries not to think about the potential fallout from a lack of closure. What closure does he deserve, anyway? Nothing actually happened besides a couple tipsy kisses; there’s nothing to suggest it was anything more. Brian’s probably just feeling awkward still, and that’s fine. That’s normal. That’s probably what Jae would be experiencing if he didn’t have all these stupid feelings. 

It’s fine, he thinks. Everything is fine. He’ll let Brian have his space and hopefully Brian will come back when he’s ready, and they can resume their comfortable friendship for whatever time they have left together and absolutely under no circumstances ever mention the barn. 

+

They make it a whole two days before Brian’s mom figures out something’s wrong. She hasn’t said anything yet, but every time Jae looks up from his breakfast she’s eyeing him, like she’s trying to spot the problem somewhere on his face. Brian and his dad are seemingly oblivious, Brian solely focused on his food and his dad occupied by the morning crossword. She stays silent till the end of the meal though, so Jae thinks he’s gotten away with it until she clears her throat as Brian’s standing behind Jae doing the dishes.

“Jae, will you help me in the kitchen this morning? Brian can feed the animals by himself.”

Brian’s mouth opens like he’s going to protest, but then his eyes meet Jae’s and his jaw snaps shut again, gaze quickly averted to the floor.

“I’d be happy to,” Jae answers, giving her an easy smile while turning his back, staunchly refusing to look at Brian. “What are we making?”

“Bread first, and then I thought I could show you how to make galbi? Your mom told me you need to learn some cooking skills.” Her tone is sweet and she’s still smiling, but Jae can’t help but flush with embarrassment. 

“Sounds good,” he answers, and then Mrs. Kang looks very pointedly at Brian over Jae’s shoulder. 

“We’ll see you for lunch then,” she says to him, and Jae spares a glance behind him to see Brian’s pink cheeks right before he ducks out the front door. 

Brian’s dad raises his eyebrows above the top of his newspaper, but he doesn’t say anything either; Jae wonders if everyone in the house knows what’s going on except for him. He looks forlornly to Anderson, who thumps his tail happily on the ground when he notices Jae’s eyes on him. At least there’s someone on his side here. 

Brian’s dad helps them finish clearing breakfast before disappearing into his office, leaving Jae and Mrs. Kang alone in the kitchen. 

“So,” she says, and Jae braces himself. “Have you been enjoying yourself, Jae?” She doesn’t look at him when she asks, too busy pulling flour and salt and yeast from the pantry, which makes things marginally easier.

“Of course, yeah,” Jae answers quickly, hoping he doesn’t sound too stilted. “It’s been really different, but a lot of fun.”

She hums noncommittally, setting the ingredients down on the counter and shuffling them till they were arranged how she wanted them. “You and Brian are good friends now, right? You two seem close.”

“Yeah,” Jae answers again, maybe a little too quickly. “Definitely good friends. Brian’s great.” 

“That’s good,” she says, and Jae can hear the fondness in her tone. “I’m glad. Brian hasn’t always had good friends—I think it’s hard for him, in a small place like this.”

Jae presses his lips together, not really knowing what to say to that. Over at the counter, Mrs. Kang starts methodically measuring out flour, scooping it into the cups with a spoon before leveling it off with the handle in a smooth, practiced motion. “You know, Jae,” she says, still focused on her work. “You can tell me things. I know it’s hard for you, to be so far from your family, and we really do appreciate all the help.”

“Thank you,” Jae says, feeling pathetically tongue tied. Mrs. Kang looks up at him for the first time in a while, bracing her hands on either side of the mixing bowl. 

“So there’s nothing you want to tell me?” she asks, not unkindly. Jae feels the pressure all the same, though, heat flooding his cheeks and surely turning his skin pink as he looks at her blankly. “Nothing that happened over the weekend? Maybe when you and Brian slept in the barn instead of in your room?”

Jae’s jaw drops, and though he’s aware he’s now gaping at Mrs. Kang he can do absolutely nothing to stop it. How had she known? They’d made it in before either of Brian’s parents had come downstairs—though Jae supposes that’s meaningless. If Mrs. Kang is anything like his mom, she doesn’t need to actually  _ see _ anything to know what trouble her son is getting up to, like she possesses a sixth sense. 

“I thought so,” she says, tone far too measured for the amount of turmoil Jae is feeling at the moment. “I noticed on Monday morning, but I figured you two would have worked things out on your own by now.”

“We—there’s nothing to work out,” Jae blurts, regretting it immediately when her eyes focus on him with renewed intensity. “Everything’s fine, I think. Brian’s just—he’s being quiet. I figured I would give him space.” He’s giving away  _ far _ too much for comfort, but actually talking about the situation, no matter how vaguely, feels like a weight has been lifted from Jae’s chest. 

Mrs. Kang hums, looking back into her bowl while Jae feels like he’s going out of his mind. She’s adding water now, mixing with one clean hand that quickly gets covered in bits of shaggy dough. Finally, she looks up again, fixing her eyes back on Jae with that same focus. “I think,” she starts carefully. “That the last thing Brian wants is space from you.”

She gives Jae a moment to process that before she continues. “I don’t know what happened, but I know Brian considers you a good friend. It would be foolish of both of you to let that go, even if it means that you might have to reach out first.” 

“You don’t think he will?” Jae asks, surprised by his own forwardness and more surprised at how he doesn’t feel all that self conscious about it. 

Mrs. Kang shakes her head, but there’s a smile on her face. “I know my son. If he’s being quiet, he won’t be the first to break. Your mom tells me you’re stubborn too, but I figured it was worth a try.” 

Jae feels the familiar heat of embarrassment creep back up his neck. His mom isn’t wrong, not in the slightest, but he does wish she hadn’t ratted him out like that. “So I should talk to him about it?” he asks, and Mrs. Kang nods emphatically.

“Unless you want to spend the rest of the summer like this then yes, you should,” she answers. 

“Okay,” Jae breathes. “Okay. I’ll talk to him tonight, then.” Best to get it over with quickly, he thinks. If it goes well, he gets more time spent with Brian, and if it goes poorly, then there’s no point in delaying the inevitable anyway.

“Good.” Mrs. Kang beams, showing off her dimples that look just like her son’s. “Now will you come over here and help me knead? My arms are getting tired.” 


End file.
